“Cheater!!” Mr ET shouted, as I emerged into the living room.
“What?” I shot back. I was completely taken off guard by his reaction. I was standing before him in my chic outfit paired with green wedge suede shoes.
“That’s new!!” he bellowed.
“What?” I shot back, defensively and confused.
“That dress. I’ve never seen that dress,” he explained.
I was being falsely accused.
“It’s not new, I swear!” I began to plead with him.
“I don’t know, I’ve never seen it,” he continued as he skeptically circled me.
“I…I don’t know why you’ve never seen it,” I said, turning slowly, following his gaze, “I suppose I forgot I owned it. I’m not cheating.”
“Are you sure?” he questioned.
“Honestly, I think I’ve owned it longer than we’re been together, “ I implored, pleading my case.
The truth is Mr. ET had a point. I have previously lied about shopping.
This adorable shift dress, with its subtle elephant stencils decorating the top and its bright yellow skirt was without a doubt memorable. He certainly had a point; this number was certainly unforgettable so why had I forgotten about it?
It had gotten lost at the back of my wardrobe, only to be discovered a few weeks ago during my big sweep of my closets and drawers. Less is more. The cliché clearly holds some truth as I now see the benefit of having less in my closet. Less allows for choice. I whittled down and donated half of my possessions, from shoes to dresses and I now have more options available to choose from. Finally able to see what I own, I’ve been walking out of the apartment in different ensembles. When the closet was full, I was left with no choice, always choosing among the first few items on the rack. Everything else was out of sight. According to research, the same order effect influences whom you vote for at the ballot box. Studies found that in one out of every 10 elections, the first name on the ballot will win just because it’s first. They also calculated that being in the middle of the list lowers your chance of winning. Ouch! Another reason my elephant dress wasn’t a first pick.
Our ability to consciously process a certain amount of information at a time is small and the time we give to that process is even smaller. Think of it this way, we handle 40,000,000 pieces of information every second, but only 40 of those make it to our conscious brains. I think back to when I would peek into my closet and pick amongst the first items within sight. The clutter and constant disorder deterred me from wearing the items at the back. I couldn’t consciously process them, so I opted for the easy picks and grabbing what was available in the front. I continued to shop, for various reasons, but I can now see that as my closet grew, the new purchases covered the older items and it just snow balled. No wonder I felt as if I had nothing nice to wear, my wardrobe was self-imploding.
Speaking of picking the easy options, we, actually most primates, are genetically hardwired to take shortcuts. The shorter alternative route is always sought as we do our best to conserve our energy; we conduct our activities of daily living (think food, sex, shelter) by exerting the minimum energy needed to do the tasks and no more. I begin to see how the energy I expended sorting through the mess in my wardrobe could be used elsewhere. I had to lighten the load.
Whittling down our choices in order to facilitate decision-making is certainly not a new concept. Psychologist Barry Schwartz wrote, “Choice no longer liberates, but debilitates”. Owning nice things isn’t a problem, but it doesn’t mean that owning more beautiful things is necessarily better. The beautiful items in my closet were not being enjoyed simply because they were too many. I came across another writer expressing the same frustration I’ve been experiencing. She wrote, I feel that within my own closet I often have too many choices, so I just keep wearing the same shirts every week. I empathize with you, Megan.
Trop de choix, tue le choix is a French saying that underlines the enigma of choice. It translates to too many choices kills the choice. We live in a world where there are simply too many options for a simple need. We only use a dime size of it a day, so why are there entire aisles dedicated to toothpaste or shampoo? With so many different scents, colours and varieties, our choice becomes difficult. Something simple becomes trivial and we find ourselves wasting time trying to make sense of the options. Who wouldn’t enjoy making fewer time-consuming and ultimately tedious choices?
Tips to share:
Think of the essentials because if it isn’t of the essence, then there’s no space for it. Stick to the choices that matter, the needs and the reasonable desires. Eliminate the rest.
Tally:
I’ve been good this past month. Only one small slip with a beautiful Guatemalan blouse- funds went directly to the Women’s Association, so I get part marks off, no?
My apologies for my mini hiatus- my Psychology courses have kept my typing time to school related projects these past 4 weeks.
hey T so proud of u!!! Hope school is going well! Good luck w finals… I miss u sitting behind me at work!!!
Excellent T.. I am taking your lead and have resisted the lure of Black Friday and am presently resisting Cyber Monday!
Thank you, Marnig! Wow- black friday & cyber monday, the names alone sound rather destructive!
Thanks for reading
Thank you, Guila! I hope to be back there at some point. Fingers crossed!
and thanks for reading, so touched you’re following
I wish he could have been a *bi*t more tentative! Really fun when you find something stuck away like that, or a crumpled $20 in your coat pocket– a little gift.
I found 5$ the other day in my winter coat- a little gift from last winter for a hot cup of coffee during this winter
So true! I hate clutter and forever am trying to get rid of things I don’t need or use. But I do think my closet is way overdue for a cleaning! It’s funny, b/c after reading your post, I realized that I too often wear the same things everyday that are right in front of me b/c I never bother going through the rest of my closet attire!
Also, the selection we have available today in stores for basic items like soap, shampoo, deodorant etc., is nice but often overwhelming!
Congrats on being FP!
Thanks for reading and appreciating
Good luck with your closet cleaning!
I really enjoyed this.
I really enjoyed the way you wrote this. Really well done! And it really is amazing what you forget you have in the back of your closet. I feel like I’m always saying, “When did I get that?!” Congrats on FP!
Thank you
Means a lot!
Funny! Exact same thing happened to me this Thanksgiving…
I just can’t pass up good deals at the Thrift Shop.
http://hipsterapproved.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/hip-video-macklemore-ryan-lewis-thrift-shop/
Love this post — story of my life! I want too much. I have everything.
Having read some of your previous posts, I am curious what drives this compulsion to acquire so much. You offer a lot of theories in general but are not forthcoming why you do this. I have known a few people like this, one of whom had entire garment racks of designer clothing — her childhood was financially difficult. i didn’t admire her behavior but I understood it.
This whole process is like peeling the layers of onion, it’s refreshing to shed the old but painful at the same time. I felt I hit nerve when I wrote the piece about body image (Smoke and Mirrors). I’m still fleshing out some more personal feelings, compiling some entries that would be more appropriate and understandable for those that don’t know me and the details of my personal history. I’m hoping to have a little more time over the holidays and will be sure to share this with everyone very soon.
Thank you for reading and inquiring. I hope you continue to follow and share your thoughts with me.
The best thing I ever did was clear out my closet after returning from an extended trip to Russia. I realized how much my things were weighing me down and how little I REALLY needed to function in the world. It’s been very freeing!
It’s true, isn’t it? Going on vacation or like you mentioned moving always has us reexamining our stuff. Thanks for reading and sharing!
Giving away old clothes to the needy is always a great idea. Which reminds me…I need to clear out my closet this weekend before the winter hits. brrrrrrrrrrrr
Thanks for the reminder
Cheers,
Ron
Good luck with your declutering & donating process, Ron!
Do you shop a lot or just a normal amount? Would love to have a man’s thoughts on this topic. Thanks for reading!
Love your writing style and I wish you the best as you practice self-control and moderation. Seems that you are doing well so far…keep it up.
Yes, moderation has become my new guiding force. It’s hard at first but I feel as though I’m getting the hand of asking myself, “really need that? will you use/wear that this week?” The answer is usually no.
Thank you for reading & commenting- I’m truly grateful for the support
This is a great post; I really agree that, at least when it comes to what’s in my closet, less = more choice. Also, I just love the header sketch for your blog. Did you do that? Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Isn’t it incredible?! Less actually produces more choices. I think it’s the first time that I’ve truly thought about & put into practice that ol’ adage of less being more. It’s honestly simplified my day and life.
The header image is courtesy of painter Veronika Szkudlarek. It’s a beautiful, so glad you love it. You can have a peek at more of her work: http://veronikaszkudlarek.com/
Thank you for reading & sharing
My husband has this tragic ability to pick out a new clothing item a mile away. I have a closet full of clothes and he still knows exactly what I have. I am not supposed to do any more shopping. If my husband misses something, my daughter knows exactly what is new and blurts it out (she is only seven). I can’t win. I definitely feel your pain.
Haha! You have two detectives to persuade, but at least they keep us in check, right?
Thanks for reading & sharing- truly means a lot!
His “tragic ability” can also mean your husband pays you close attention, which is lovely! We’re lucky ladies
It looks to me like your Psychology courses are adding interesting and more ideas to your awesome blog! Thanks for your awesome blogging.
Yes, my course are certainly contributing to my therapy. Between social psych and evolutionary psych, I’m certainly being provided an interesting insight into the human mind. It’s funny- two days after I posted my entry about cognitive dissonance (The Fox & The Earrings), my social psych class covered the topic. Since I write under a pseudonym, my teacher had no idea why I went tomato red when she happen to call on me for an example of the term.
Thank you so much for reading & appreciating my pieces
I think most write under a pseudonym. Thanks for answering me. http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
Great to see a post about decluttering getting freshly pressed! Congrats.
I know and under the shopping category too
Thank you for reading!
its true..we live in a ‘women love clutter’ society..men can live out of backpack and still manage not to look scruffy…wonderful post!
I know, right?! But when I think about my “get-ready-routine” I don’t use most of the stuff I have on my toiletry shelf. I’m can be pretty basic too. It boggles my mind how I’ve managed to accumulate it all.
Thank you so much for reading & commenting
What a fascinating statistic about how much info we handle versus how much we are conscious of considering. And an evil tip re Mr. E.T.: make him think he’s losing it by brazenly declaring, “You’ve SEEN this many times! You always do that! Don’t tell me you forgot what I was wearing?!” ‘Course this only works if he is over a certain age and isn’t absolutely CERTAIN of he memory . . . .
You made me laugh out loud!! I immediately texted Mr ET and told him there was a revolt forming against him…hee hee
But thank you, I’ll be considering this ammunition down the road.
Thank you for reading & sharing- means a ton!
Ha! So funny. We have to share what we learn!
Very interesting Lady T. You are not alone. That shopping addiction is a bad habit. I can’t say no to accessories…
Accessories are certainly dangerous waters….they can cost far less, take up less room and certainly add up financially. Thank you for reading and your kind words
What a great post! Congrats on the FP! Your blog is about to consume WAY more of your typing time for a few days.
I’m overwhelmed and humbled for being chosen…and now held more accountable by more readers too
A wonderful incentive to stay the course.
Thank you so much, Anita!
Great read! But what I really want to see is your beautifully described outfit!
Thank you!! You’re too funny!!
Boy, does this post ring true! I just donated two very large bags of perfectly good (cute/expensive) clothes because I could never find anything to wear!! How crazy is that?! Instead of having ‘choices’ – these ‘choices’ left me feeling overwhelmed. I also realized that because of the amount of clothes I had; it was simply easier to just dress from the ‘top of the stack’ and I did this over and over again, never wearing anything different.With the ‘excess’ gone; I feel lighter and find it much easier to dress in the mornings.
Thanks for your post!
it’s unbelievable how much simpler and more enjoyable getting dressed is now. The trick is keeping it that way and not going through any type of empty-nest-like syndrome and refilling the space. Let me know how you do and I’ll do the same
Thank you for reading & sharing!
Great piece! Got me thinking about decluttering too. I totally agree, having too many choices is far too tedious….
I’m glad you enjoyed it and were inspired.
Too many choices just takes up too much time. The energy could be spent on so many other things worthy of our time.
Thank you, Zoe!
Know this blog? http://zerowastehome.blogspot.fr/p/tips.html
I found this way of living very interesting and promising!
http://vitality.yahoo.com/video-second-act-the-johnson-family-24454760
BTW, I get you sister! I am a big fan of dresses, shoes, necklaces and simply shopping in general. I have been improving a lot lately though, and I noticed a good deal of that came from the fact that I am busier, but also happier with my life and myself.
Congrats on being FP!
I love those types of sites- I’ve gotten tons of inspiration for various DIY projects. Last night I cut up absorbent towels, tossed them all into a cute bag that I hung on the wall in the kitchen et voilà! Eco friendly, cost efficient kitchen towels!
John Lennon said happiness is the key to life and I would have to agree.
Spending your time and energy doing various of other activities is important to get there. Balance
Thank you for reading and sharing
Pingback: The Lost Shift Dress in My Closet’s Abyss. « zoey613's Blog
Ah a very truthful post…love it! I’ve found that after initially cringing at the thought of giving away my precious clothes that I promise I’ll wear one day…the experience of not having a lot of stuff is quite liberating! It also makes getting dressed in the morning soooo much easier. Way to go.
Getting dressed it a whole lot more fun too!
Thanks for reading!
OH you sound so much like my daughter Bethany! I love your writing style and will be back.
Thank you
So sweet of you to say.
Reblogged this on Becca's Basic Blog and commented:
“Too many choices, kills the choice”…..less is more people
It’s actually a cool and useful piece of information. I’m satisfied that you just shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.|
Pingback: What Makes a Post Freshly Press-able: The Lost Shift Dress in My Closet’s Abyss | The Daily Post
This makes so much sense…my closet is a mess and I wear the same things most of the time!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I recently purged my closet and found some new stuff — including three pairs of shoes I haven’t even worn! My husband filled one large trash bag of clothes to donate; between the shoes and clothes, I filled four…
It’s wanting what you’ve got instead of getting everything you want…
The act of giving is extremely rewarding and then the discovery of 3 pairs of unworn shoes is a bonus
Hope you’re enjoying them!
Lady T, I see why this is Freshly Pressed material – you did a great job with this issue – I am orderly and had begun to feel I had too much stuff, so I took 6 months and on weekends downsized in every way – I love it – just a few things but nice things remain. I love my 2 bedroom little house – my clothes fit into a tiny closet and a chest for the most part – I call it low maintenance and a no-brainer lifestyle – extra stuff drives me nuts so the science makes sense to me – too much stuff makes me feel burdened and on over load! Also, I live in Fairfield, Iowa, home of the Raj Ayurvedic Clinic! Best, Kartika
Thank you, Kartika! I know how you feel, clutter around the house bothers me so I’m still wondering how I let it get so far gone in my own closet. It sure feels good to have nice things but just less of them. I’m still amazed by the concept of less is more.
Thanks for sharing
Loved your post Lady T. I was a compulsive shopper too. I still lose control every now and then but I am way better than who I was 2 years ago. I hope to be in full control eventually. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Good for you
Gives me hope!
I’m seeing my own change in behavior and the progress is really encouraging to continue. I’m feeling better and it’s spilling over into all areas of my life.
Thank you for reading and sharing.
We just did the purge thing too … well … let me rephrase that. “I” did the purge thing. Hubby has it down to a science, while I, on the other hand, began to ‘fabric’ate all sorts of problems for myself. I gave away a box our lawnmower came in, FULL to the brim, of clothing I was going to repurpose. I still have (no kidding) two HUGE wheeled bins of fabric and several boxes of fabric. But hey, I did a good thing the other day – I turned down some FREE fabric, just because I have nowhere to store it until I can use it up. I think she’ll give it to someone else who will use it right away. I feel so much better about myself now.
Oh … and congrats on being FP, so well-deserved.
I don’t like labeling but minimalists tend to be men more often than women. At least most of the men I know have far less possessions/clothes than most women I know. I’m interested in this gender difference and formulating something on it, so any observations you may have are certainly welcomed
And good for you for turning down the fabric. I personally know how difficult that is.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts
yeah, I think it’s part of the way God made men and women differently. Men are more logical thinking on the whole, and women tend to be more emotional. I get emotionally attached to stuff because somebody gave it to me, or it reminds me of a good time in my life, etc. Both my late husband and my husband now were/are analytical, logical thinking guys. Hubby takes pictures of his mementos and then either gives them away or tosses them to save room. Funny, when we got married, he moved all his earthly goods in the back of a pickup.
I, on the other hand, had a HOUSEFUL of stuff!
Oh my, this is me. Honestly, shopping in my closet is the best thing because I too have way over shopped forever. Worst thing is, I keep buying the same thing over and over again! I’m thinking of hanging a Barney’s sign over my closet just to trick my brain into thinking “ooh new shiny things”
Great post!
Becca
I find switching it up and giving new items front of the rack time helps me. Bring the back to the front and shift your clothes around a little. I also discovered new pairings of items, for instance, combining above the knee summer dresses with dark nylons, a denim or dress shirt/cardigan and a pair of boots. Makes for a comfortable and cute fall/winter look. It’s breathed life back into a stagnant closet. Hope this inspires your “Mini Barneys”
Thank you for reading and sharing
So glad I found your blog! I have been thinking about doing the same thing next year: not purchasing anything extraneous for myself. I feel like I have too much stuff and want to simplify.
Thank you and I’m glad you found me too!! I’m happy that my real life change has inspired others to do that same. Moni, it honestly feels fantastic to have less. Good luck with your cleaning of closet and please report back!
OMG I can totally relate to your post. This is me. I a m going to read the rest of your blog and follow you. I buy to much and I can be pretty impulsive at times. To be honest I really don’t need it but I just love clothes and shoes. And I love shopping. But enough is enough especially during “recession” time. I mean I will never stop loving to shop but it can be just a bit less.. And the part of the bf and you = so me
Love you being so honest. xoxo Pascalle
Hey Pascalle,
I’m so glad you can relate and that hopefully I’ll motivate similar change in others. The impulsive and nearly compulsive factor of shopping is kind of frightening and intriguing. I’m going to delve into this further real soon. Thank you for reading and for sharing too
These are truly wonderful ideas in about blogging. You
have touched some pleasant factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.
Great post! Congrats on being “pressed.”